A divorce is not only a heart-breaking ordeal for children but also a distressing experience for the family. Children are scared, confused and uncertain about their future. A family lawyer guides you through a divorce process to ensure your rights and those of the children are protected. Below are six tips for handling divorce where children are involved.
1. Keep the Environment Stable
Don’t interfere with routines the children are used to. They should continue with their lives uninterrupted. They should be able to go to school and get on with their lives with minimal disruptions. A stable environment helps provide emotional balance for them. If they will move with you to a new home, don’t yank them out of their comfort zone without preparing them first. Allow them to process the implication of moving to a new home and living with one of the parents. Additional information and resources are available at Matrimonial Home.
2. Provide Psycho-Social Support
Although this is a heartbreaking experience for you, don’t neglect the children. They need your support to cope with social and psychological distress. Listen to their concerns and give them a chance to vent their emotions. Have open and honest conversations with them. The breakdown of your marriage doesn’t have to be the breakdown of your entire family. Avoid venting your frustrations and tantrums on the children. Work through the process as a team and be patient with them. Give them assurances and let them express their fears and hopes.
3. Avoid the Blame Game
Your disagreement with your ex is not your children’s business. Never speak negatively about your ex in the presence of your children. They were not a party to your falling out. It’s not proper to involve your children in ill sentiments towards each other. Your feelings towards your ex can easily influence your children’s attitude about the other parent. Bear in mind your ex could be your children’s role model.
4. Involve a Family Therapist
Your emotions and those of your children could be so battered by divorce that you lack the fortitude to handle the situation. A family therapist or a parenting expert with experience in divorce situations can help you address tough issues as they arise. Allow the children to talk to the therapist on their own and get feedback to understand their feelings and thoughts. The therapist will guide you in making choices that benefit you and your children.
5. Give Assurances
Assure the children your love for them is not lost. Let them know when Mommy or Daddy will be spending time with them. Have a schedule when both parents get to spend time with the children; probably over dinner. This gives them confidence and makes them understand they were not responsible for the divorce.
6. Involve a Family Lawyer
The services of a family lawyer are very critical in a divorce process. The lawyer will be your partner in the process, save you money, give you objective advice, protect your rights, advocate for a fairer custody order, and fight for a reasonable settlement.
Divorce should never cause you unnecessary stress. With a firm knowledge on how to handle it and a family lawyer by your side, you can be at peace all day. Your children’s future is guaranteed and brighter.